Why classical certification is impossible in a quantum world

I give a simple proof that it is impossible to guarantee the classicality of inputs into any mistrustful quantum cryptographic protocol. The argument illuminates the impossibility of unconditionally secure quantum implementations of essentially classical tasks such as bit commitment with a certified classical committed bit, classical oblivious transfer, and secure classical multi-party computations of secret classical data. It applies to both non-relativistic and relativistic protocols.